updating halfway, youngest bro back.. argument. fighting.
could not bear with his attitude.. his irresponsibility words.. i hate this..
so i fight n scold badly.. even shout at him n call him go to die now..
i am such a bad sister.. i keep asking myself.. am i a good sister? no. i am not..
every time after all the arguments, i will cry inside my room but who knows? no one will know about it.. i am sad to see my brothers live like that way.. i could not stop him.. i feel i m so useless...
why such a big boy, he still can't think properly? keep outing everyday, went to CC.. when know mum will not be at home that night, he, himself, a 15years old boy, went out and back home on the next morning.. what kind of attitude is this? playing truant with friends. talk like a samseng gangster. even talk to mum also very rude but mum did not scold or do anything. as a sister, i really can't bear anymore so i fight, i scold, i be the evil person.. i hate this kind of attitudes.. he is easily get influence by friends.. how his friends act like, he will follow them.. when his friends come over our house, they talk more rude.. WT... am i invisible?
i really do not have the energy to teach anymore.. Lord, what can i do? i really do not want to get involve in this.. i do not want to care anymore.. their life their choice.. i am too fed up with all of this..
Sorry, mum.. cause i always can't control myself..
i always said bad words to them once i get angry..
haiz.. i am the one who should go to die now and leave this house immediately..
i am too upset.. really really....
i m not a good sister.. i could not teach my brothers to do well in everything..
i am such a failure.. i m so sad..
Lord, could You give me strength and heal my broken heart towards them?
Lord, do help my family gone through all of these..
Lord, do help my brothers and wake them up..
Thanks Lord for everything..
In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.
